Director: David O Russell
Starring
J-Law
Colin
Farrell in 'Horrible Bosses', a.k.a. Batman
Permed Pat Peoples
Permed Pat Peoples
Robert
de Niro as The Crypt Keeper
Mayor
Quiff
Amy
Adams' Side-boob
The
Plot
A
film about a con man and con woman who are forced into helping the FBI because
the FBI have never before performed a sting operation. And then other things
happen, none of which make sense to me.
The Review
Jennifer
Lawrence made the film worth watching, despite her significantly reduced screen
time compared to the others. But I spent the rest of the film yawning and
questioning the motivation of the characters.
American
Hustle is a completely unstructured story, devoid of all plot. Or too much
plot; it's hard to tell. I get the feeling they tried to fit at least six
different scripts into one, but still wanted to give us twenty minutes of
backstory at the start.
Several
times throughout the film, an issue would arise where I would think, 'You're a
two hour film. You don't have time to be dealing with this on top of everything
else. Sort yourself out.'
The
film, possibly due to having several scripts in one, is a fan of telling, not
showing – throwing out the first rule of story-telling.
Beyond
the plot, the characters were one-dimensional.
- J-Law
is depressed.
- Christian
Bale doesn't like being touched and he's a little pedantic.
- The
mayor dude is a good guy - an honest politician.
- Bradley
Cooper has anger issues. Also, he's the most incompetent FBI agent in the
bureaus history and only his boss sees it.
- Amy
Adams has some kind of issue that isn't really addressed but I think we're
supposed to believe that she was conning herself? Either way, both women use
sex to get what they want which is a completely accurate representation of the
feminine gender.
Each
time I thought it was going to end, each time I thought they'd finally resolve
whatever it was they were trying to do, it just kept going. Finally, toward
what I thought was the end, someone had a new idea or plan to put into effect
and I literally sighed out loud. I was promptly 'shushed' by someone in a row
behind me, which really irked me. I don't get shushed, I do the shushing. In
the cinema, I am the shusher. I'm like a shushing ninja, throwing my shushes so
that the shushee doesn't even know where it came from, but they know they just
got told to shut up. American
Hustle, however, has turned me into a monster. I have become a shushee and I
blame David O Russell.
The
only thing worth watching the film for would be J-Law's comedic timing,
Christian Bale's whole performance (which was actually pretty damn good,
especially after you remember he puts on that stupid voice as Batman) and Amy
Adams breasts for getting the most a screen time. And don't think I didn't see
that nip-slip you put in there, David O Russell, because I did. We all saw it.
I was looking for it in every super low cut top you put her in and got nothing.
Then, you give it to us in the sex scene. The unnecessary sex scene. Which,
funnily enough, was not quite as unnecessary as the majority of the other
scenes that didn't drive what little plot there was forward.
Final
Thought
Who
did I piss off in a past life to deserve listening to Amy Adams fake British
accent for two hours while being constantly confronted with her side-boob?
